Surviving the Game (1994)

One of the best movies ever made.  There, I said it!

Do you like being a failure,  a loser, fucking retarded?  Then try and find a better group of actors.  I dare you!  You have:

Ice-T - His acting is only rivaled by his early nineties rap.  His portrayal of a piss stinking homeless piece of shit is so spot on, you feel like he is going to jump out of the television and beg you for change.  Lessons can be learned from this movie.  I would drop a G on bum hunting.  The government should round up all the homeless dregs, hose them down, and pay them to let me, and others like me, hunt them.  It’s so simple!  It would be so beneficial to society:  You would be able to use a ATM past 11pm, without having to sidestep some fucking hobo that smells like he’s been living in the trenches.  Those soldiers fought for your freedom to be lazy.  Where do you get off smelling like them, asshole?  Any bums that survived “The Game” would no longer be bums.  With their winnings, they would become valuable members of society.  Then they could join the other side of the national pastime and hunt the people (I use the term loosely) they once shared the gutter with.  They could also be guides, since they would know how the elusive bum thinks and moves.  It is clear to me that this movie solves the homeless crisis.

Gary Busey - Gary fucking Busey!  He didn’t even have to act in this movie.  He just played himself.  No one is more bat-shit crazy than Gary Busey.  There is a reason he only plays a crazy retard on film.  I’m pretty sure that his rant about Prince Henry Stout was actually about his dog that he killed and ate.  With his disheveled hair and circus freak teeth, the world is lucky that this guy became an actor.  If he didn’t, he would have become a serial killer, or carny.

Rutger Hauer - Need I say more?  Rutger Hauer is awesome in this movie.  He pretty much runs the whole damn show.  While everyone else is going all willy-nilly, when Mason fucks shit up, he stays cool as a cucumber.  You can tell that he knows exactly what he is doing.  That useless fucking street trash Mason never would have escaped, if Rutger Hauer didn’t have to baby-sit a bunch of yahoo city boys, running around the woods like a chicken with its dick cut off.

John McGinley - Clearly the worst of the useless city boys in the movie.  When he tries to tell Burns that he has to let Mason go, because he could have killed him and didn’t, you want to strangle his pussy-ass.  You knew he was going to be a pussy, as soon as you found out he had asthma.  They should kill these people at birth.  They should fill puffers with cyanide, to dispose of  the yes maams, that have already made it into society, and contaminated it with their hippie ideals.  Do you really want these dopers around anyways?

F. Murray Abraham - I hate this guy.  Fuck him.

 

Trailer: Surviving the game