Don’t know, but it can. I don’t understand it. All the ingredients were there to make a wicked movie: there is a killer robot, naked broads, it’s futuristic, and it has a catchy title. You have to be a serious fuckup to ruin that. Maybe I was just too tired to appreciate this film (that’s highly unlikely). Have a puke bucket handy.
Death Machine is about an evil corporation (Chaank Corp.) that manufactures fancy shmancy military weaponry. One of their mandroids malfunctions in a shithole building and three Chaank losers go in to get it. A broad is apparently out of dental floss, for some reason, she is camped out beside a urinal. She watches the mandroid lose his shit on a wall and then the three Chaank guys find it. They are dressed up in futuristic armor made of Styrofoam. They don’t fuck the mandroid up at all, they just watch him glitch and overload. The mandroid goes all Michael J. Fox and falls over. He does crack his head on the wall on the way down and it looks like it actually hurt the tool actor.
Urinal broad talks about the mandroid on camera and it raises serious questions about Chaank Corp. A bunch of uppity assholes protest outside the headquarters. One of the pissed off protesters sucker punches Chaank’s new Chief Executive in the face for being way hotter.
Girly-girl learns that Chaank is less than respectable and tries to force the other executives to shut down all suspect projects. She also tries to have their psycho R&D guy Dante fired. The rest of the executives are pussies and are too afraid to fire him. Apparently he has a machine that killed the last Chief Executive.
Dante is a computer nerd on his period. His day consists of watching cartoons and porn. He ends up getting a boner for girly-girl and creeps the shit out of her. It turns out that girly-girl was in a nudie magazine and this really turns his crank.
After girly-girl snoops around and tries to find out what Dante is up to, one of the execs. becomes worried that she will piss Dante off. The nutless exec. wants to have her killed. Dante finds this out and sicks his machine on him for trying to kill his girlfriend.
The movie still blows really hard when three skids break into Chaank to try and destroy the mainframe. Girly-girl tricks Dante at this point by appealing to his cock. When he is off his guard she uses a computer to terminate all his access privileges and he flips out like a fat kid that dropped his ice-cream. Next, the three skids find girly-girl, Dante, and another fat fuck and hold them hostage. They want access codes so that they can do their shit. Girly-girl refuses to give up her codes but Dante sells them on another route. He tricks them into opening vault 10 that houses his death machine. Now it's loose and it fucks shit up.
What happens next is so fucking amazing that you wouldn’t believe it. It was easily the best part of the movie: the death machine goes on the prowl and… I passed out.
Upon waking, the movie still sucked hard. It’s a fucking piece of shit.
I like how the death machine has blood on its claws on the cover. That's so totally awesome.
ReplyDeleteAward winning movie. Its a gem of all the movies that do have everything wonderful from cast to performance. The story is well executed that most of us will do appreciate.
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