Megaforce is an elite fighting unit that operates all over the world, whenever a member nation calls on it. All member countries contribute with technology and manpower… I believe they have sixty men. They look like the San Francisco division of the National Guard. When you are battling tyranny half way across the world in some blazing desert, you have got to look your best. Nothing scares your enemy quite like sixty queers dressed in lycra onesies. Ace hunter screams gay. Isn’t that right, Ace?
This movie is from 1982, so it’s just about the time between special effects being complete shit or bearable. For this reason, I was little apprehensive going into this movie. Luckily they cheesed it right up at the start with a mesmerizing dirt bike training exercise. Three dudes did wheelies through a canyon, while shooting bike mounted rockets at balloons flying through the air. It was quite breathtaking. If I was American, it would make me proud to be an American.
As the movie went on, I started to realize that the cheese was starting to rot. It got to the point where the cheese had completely turned to shit, and I realized that Megaforce actually fucking sucked.
They end up sending Megaforce to combat Ace’s old buddy who is causing a ruckus in some Middle East shithole. Now, normally this would prove to be quite the challenge for sixty regular men. Luckily Megaforce is equipped with the most advance technology and best trained men that the world has to offer. There is nothing regular about these assholes. These assholes are so good that they lose, maybe, three vehicles in the battle, but no soldiers. I hate to admit it, but Delta Force pretty much used the same vehicles. The difference is that Delta Force refrained from queering them up, and Megaforce tried to make them look futuristic. Well, they fail large. Also, Delta Force is an amazing movie and this one grovels at its feet.
Megaforce ends up getting fucked over by politics, and they have to find their own way out of whatever country. The problem is, Ace’s buddy has regrouped and cut off their exit. How the hell are they going to escape now? Oh, they will just sneak up from behind, blow the shit out of the tanks, and bee line for the transport plane. At this point, the movie is so far gone that you think nothing can shock you. But then it happens. Some asshole actually wrote this into the movie thinking it would be so fucking cool. This is how the movie ends and Ace escapes:
Bahahahaha! That's so fucking lame. I can't bare it.
Thats' some great acting, there. I love all the variations in his O face as he learns to fly the bike.
ReplyDeleteThe 360 almost killed me.
ReplyDeleteI like how steering the front wheel changes how the bike maneuvers in the air. Now that's some serious handling...
ReplyDeleteAlso, how soon until clicking on the label "flying motorcycle" brings up more than one movie review. Yes, that means I clicked on the label "flying motorcycle" to see if there were any other movie reviews that fit that category...
ReplyDeleteThere can't be too many. People would have to make it through the entire movie. That's nearly fucking impossible.
ReplyDelete