Did I ever tell you guy's about the time I was abruptly abducted by space aliens? What a time that was, I tell ya! They locked on to me with what I would later find out was a Jinstar model 2000X tracto-beam. As I was being transported to their mother ship, I was terrified as I looked down upon the world with the realization of what a fragile existence we have. I didn't know what was going to happen to me next. As I approached the porthole in the alien vessel, I fashioned a makeshift stabbing weapon by positioning my keys between my 2nd and 3rd knuckles. I was prepared to use this as soon as an opportunity presented itself. To my surprise, my captors greeted me with a wondrous look of amazement on their face (as if human anatomy applied to these creatures). I was greeted with offerings of what turned out to be "food" and "drink". The food was an almost gelatin like substance served on green pieces of some sort of unfamiliar plant life. I later found out that this was a delicacy on their planet and it was referred to as "Zanga Fruit". The liquid had the look of water, but I found myself unable to persuade my curiosity to sample these offerings. I was then led away from the cargohold of the ship, and onto the bridge of the alien vessel. I was greeted by their leader as he said to me, through a universal translator, "Welcome my friend. This whole experience must be very traumatizing for you. You can be sure that we are a friendly race. My name is Pleetor and I am the commander of this vessel, the Kreetorian 4. We have traveled great distance from the planet Zofar, home of the Blingar people, in search of the earthling known as Adam." I then summoned the courage to ask Pleetor, "Pleetor, you honor me with your hospitality, but I must ask what your purpose for abducting me is?" To which Pleetor replied, "I am sorry for this unexpected visit, but believe me when I say that it was imperative that we find you as soon as possible. What I'm going to tell you may sound insane, but you are the universes only hope. Please sit down and I will explain everything to you." As I sat down Pleetor explained everything exactly as he had promised. Apparently, two earth months earlier a space pirate, by the name of Sultron, stole a TSX model 1.7 deathray. A weapon with this much destructive power falling into the wrong hands is of critical importance. As the Zofar High Council debated the actions necessary to deal with Sultron, a Blingar by the name of Zolax told a tale of a boy who was found on the planet Earth, that had the necessary ability, and willingness to leave his home planet, and fight for the fate of the universe. The boy was picked over all others because of his superior skill at a video game, that was actually a flight simulator for an alien attack ship. It was he who destroyed the evil Sultron, and saved the universe approx. 30 years earlier. Until two months ago, everyone thought Sultron was dead. Zolax proceeded to inform the Zofar High Council of the movie "The Last Sarfighter" that was based on this historic event. Like this boy, apparently I was the next chosen Starfighter. So what did I do when faced with this decision? That's easy. I agreed to follow in the footsteps of the legendary Starfighter before me, and risk my life to save the universe. We departed our solar system in a brilliant flash of light, and in no time at all we were in the galaxy Omecron 3. When I started to worry about the inevitable battle that was approaching, Pleetor took it upon himself/herself to comfort me, by telling a rather humorous anecdote, about a Destron Gama beast and Blingar High Councilor caught in a rather unflattering situation. Haha, it's still funny to think of it now, but I'm not going to get into that. Our laughter was short lived because just then the dreaded Sultron appeared off our port side. His ship was massive, well armed, and the pinnacle of Blingar technology. Pleetor immediately yelled to his crew, "shields up! Arm matter displacement cannons 4 through 9 and show our savior to his ship!" I and twelve other Blingar fighter pilots, ran to the hangar, and I jumped in the cockpit of a beta class Blingar Interceptor. This ship was amazing. It had 4 Triberian blaster cannons, trigalonite shield panels covering the hull, and the fastest engine the Blingar have ever produced for the Interceptor. It was quite impressive. We bolted from the Kreetorian 4 and engaged the enemy squadrons. We attacked in an echelon formation and destroyed 6 enemy Zeelon bombers in the first pass. The Zeelon class bomber was a slow, but powerful ship, not to be taken lightly. As we approached Sultrons vessel, we were caught off guard courtesy of a number of HSK Scatter Cannons. We lost 4 ships as a result. I took evasive maneuvers and managed to get within firing range of Sultrons ship. I launched a Blingar borilium armed missile into the hull of the ship, and blew a hole in it that was just bigger than my vessel. I then evaded a squadron of Zeelon fighter class attack ships, and I flew my Blingar Interceptor into Sultrons ship. I managed to get a Blingar borilium bomb into the inside of the ship, and then got the hell out of there. As I distanced myself from the ship, it blew with one hell of an explosion. I docked back in the Kreetorian 4 and was greeted with a celebration like nothing I have ever experienced before. We all drank some sort of synthohol called "Gleetax Ale" and in hindsight I think I may have overdid it.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Last Starfighter (1984)
It's a funny story Regis. A similar thing happened to me.
Did I ever tell you guy's about the time I was abruptly abducted by space aliens? What a time that was, I tell ya! They locked on to me with what I would later find out was a Jinstar model 2000X tracto-beam. As I was being transported to their mother ship, I was terrified as I looked down upon the world with the realization of what a fragile existence we have. I didn't know what was going to happen to me next. As I approached the porthole in the alien vessel, I fashioned a makeshift stabbing weapon by positioning my keys between my 2nd and 3rd knuckles. I was prepared to use this as soon as an opportunity presented itself. To my surprise, my captors greeted me with a wondrous look of amazement on their face (as if human anatomy applied to these creatures). I was greeted with offerings of what turned out to be "food" and "drink". The food was an almost gelatin like substance served on green pieces of some sort of unfamiliar plant life. I later found out that this was a delicacy on their planet and it was referred to as "Zanga Fruit". The liquid had the look of water, but I found myself unable to persuade my curiosity to sample these offerings. I was then led away from the cargohold of the ship, and onto the bridge of the alien vessel. I was greeted by their leader as he said to me, through a universal translator, "Welcome my friend. This whole experience must be very traumatizing for you. You can be sure that we are a friendly race. My name is Pleetor and I am the commander of this vessel, the Kreetorian 4. We have traveled great distance from the planet Zofar, home of the Blingar people, in search of the earthling known as Adam." I then summoned the courage to ask Pleetor, "Pleetor, you honor me with your hospitality, but I must ask what your purpose for abducting me is?" To which Pleetor replied, "I am sorry for this unexpected visit, but believe me when I say that it was imperative that we find you as soon as possible. What I'm going to tell you may sound insane, but you are the universes only hope. Please sit down and I will explain everything to you." As I sat down Pleetor explained everything exactly as he had promised. Apparently, two earth months earlier a space pirate, by the name of Sultron, stole a TSX model 1.7 deathray. A weapon with this much destructive power falling into the wrong hands is of critical importance. As the Zofar High Council debated the actions necessary to deal with Sultron, a Blingar by the name of Zolax told a tale of a boy who was found on the planet Earth, that had the necessary ability, and willingness to leave his home planet, and fight for the fate of the universe. The boy was picked over all others because of his superior skill at a video game, that was actually a flight simulator for an alien attack ship. It was he who destroyed the evil Sultron, and saved the universe approx. 30 years earlier. Until two months ago, everyone thought Sultron was dead. Zolax proceeded to inform the Zofar High Council of the movie "The Last Sarfighter" that was based on this historic event. Like this boy, apparently I was the next chosen Starfighter. So what did I do when faced with this decision? That's easy. I agreed to follow in the footsteps of the legendary Starfighter before me, and risk my life to save the universe. We departed our solar system in a brilliant flash of light, and in no time at all we were in the galaxy Omecron 3. When I started to worry about the inevitable battle that was approaching, Pleetor took it upon himself/herself to comfort me, by telling a rather humorous anecdote, about a Destron Gama beast and Blingar High Councilor caught in a rather unflattering situation. Haha, it's still funny to think of it now, but I'm not going to get into that. Our laughter was short lived because just then the dreaded Sultron appeared off our port side. His ship was massive, well armed, and the pinnacle of Blingar technology. Pleetor immediately yelled to his crew, "shields up! Arm matter displacement cannons 4 through 9 and show our savior to his ship!" I and twelve other Blingar fighter pilots, ran to the hangar, and I jumped in the cockpit of a beta class Blingar Interceptor. This ship was amazing. It had 4 Triberian blaster cannons, trigalonite shield panels covering the hull, and the fastest engine the Blingar have ever produced for the Interceptor. It was quite impressive. We bolted from the Kreetorian 4 and engaged the enemy squadrons. We attacked in an echelon formation and destroyed 6 enemy Zeelon bombers in the first pass. The Zeelon class bomber was a slow, but powerful ship, not to be taken lightly. As we approached Sultrons vessel, we were caught off guard courtesy of a number of HSK Scatter Cannons. We lost 4 ships as a result. I took evasive maneuvers and managed to get within firing range of Sultrons ship. I launched a Blingar borilium armed missile into the hull of the ship, and blew a hole in it that was just bigger than my vessel. I then evaded a squadron of Zeelon fighter class attack ships, and I flew my Blingar Interceptor into Sultrons ship. I managed to get a Blingar borilium bomb into the inside of the ship, and then got the hell out of there. As I distanced myself from the ship, it blew with one hell of an explosion. I docked back in the Kreetorian 4 and was greeted with a celebration like nothing I have ever experienced before. We all drank some sort of synthohol called "Gleetax Ale" and in hindsight I think I may have overdid it.
Did I ever tell you guy's about the time I was abruptly abducted by space aliens? What a time that was, I tell ya! They locked on to me with what I would later find out was a Jinstar model 2000X tracto-beam. As I was being transported to their mother ship, I was terrified as I looked down upon the world with the realization of what a fragile existence we have. I didn't know what was going to happen to me next. As I approached the porthole in the alien vessel, I fashioned a makeshift stabbing weapon by positioning my keys between my 2nd and 3rd knuckles. I was prepared to use this as soon as an opportunity presented itself. To my surprise, my captors greeted me with a wondrous look of amazement on their face (as if human anatomy applied to these creatures). I was greeted with offerings of what turned out to be "food" and "drink". The food was an almost gelatin like substance served on green pieces of some sort of unfamiliar plant life. I later found out that this was a delicacy on their planet and it was referred to as "Zanga Fruit". The liquid had the look of water, but I found myself unable to persuade my curiosity to sample these offerings. I was then led away from the cargohold of the ship, and onto the bridge of the alien vessel. I was greeted by their leader as he said to me, through a universal translator, "Welcome my friend. This whole experience must be very traumatizing for you. You can be sure that we are a friendly race. My name is Pleetor and I am the commander of this vessel, the Kreetorian 4. We have traveled great distance from the planet Zofar, home of the Blingar people, in search of the earthling known as Adam." I then summoned the courage to ask Pleetor, "Pleetor, you honor me with your hospitality, but I must ask what your purpose for abducting me is?" To which Pleetor replied, "I am sorry for this unexpected visit, but believe me when I say that it was imperative that we find you as soon as possible. What I'm going to tell you may sound insane, but you are the universes only hope. Please sit down and I will explain everything to you." As I sat down Pleetor explained everything exactly as he had promised. Apparently, two earth months earlier a space pirate, by the name of Sultron, stole a TSX model 1.7 deathray. A weapon with this much destructive power falling into the wrong hands is of critical importance. As the Zofar High Council debated the actions necessary to deal with Sultron, a Blingar by the name of Zolax told a tale of a boy who was found on the planet Earth, that had the necessary ability, and willingness to leave his home planet, and fight for the fate of the universe. The boy was picked over all others because of his superior skill at a video game, that was actually a flight simulator for an alien attack ship. It was he who destroyed the evil Sultron, and saved the universe approx. 30 years earlier. Until two months ago, everyone thought Sultron was dead. Zolax proceeded to inform the Zofar High Council of the movie "The Last Sarfighter" that was based on this historic event. Like this boy, apparently I was the next chosen Starfighter. So what did I do when faced with this decision? That's easy. I agreed to follow in the footsteps of the legendary Starfighter before me, and risk my life to save the universe. We departed our solar system in a brilliant flash of light, and in no time at all we were in the galaxy Omecron 3. When I started to worry about the inevitable battle that was approaching, Pleetor took it upon himself/herself to comfort me, by telling a rather humorous anecdote, about a Destron Gama beast and Blingar High Councilor caught in a rather unflattering situation. Haha, it's still funny to think of it now, but I'm not going to get into that. Our laughter was short lived because just then the dreaded Sultron appeared off our port side. His ship was massive, well armed, and the pinnacle of Blingar technology. Pleetor immediately yelled to his crew, "shields up! Arm matter displacement cannons 4 through 9 and show our savior to his ship!" I and twelve other Blingar fighter pilots, ran to the hangar, and I jumped in the cockpit of a beta class Blingar Interceptor. This ship was amazing. It had 4 Triberian blaster cannons, trigalonite shield panels covering the hull, and the fastest engine the Blingar have ever produced for the Interceptor. It was quite impressive. We bolted from the Kreetorian 4 and engaged the enemy squadrons. We attacked in an echelon formation and destroyed 6 enemy Zeelon bombers in the first pass. The Zeelon class bomber was a slow, but powerful ship, not to be taken lightly. As we approached Sultrons vessel, we were caught off guard courtesy of a number of HSK Scatter Cannons. We lost 4 ships as a result. I took evasive maneuvers and managed to get within firing range of Sultrons ship. I launched a Blingar borilium armed missile into the hull of the ship, and blew a hole in it that was just bigger than my vessel. I then evaded a squadron of Zeelon fighter class attack ships, and I flew my Blingar Interceptor into Sultrons ship. I managed to get a Blingar borilium bomb into the inside of the ship, and then got the hell out of there. As I distanced myself from the ship, it blew with one hell of an explosion. I docked back in the Kreetorian 4 and was greeted with a celebration like nothing I have ever experienced before. We all drank some sort of synthohol called "Gleetax Ale" and in hindsight I think I may have overdid it.
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